Learning To Listen With Your Heart

I know how important it is to listen, really listen with your heart. I will admit, I am not always the best at it. Listening is a form of caring. When you listen with intent, you are telling the story-teller what they are saying is important to you. You are showing the person they are important to you.

Listen with your heart.

“Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you.

Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.”

I am working hard on this second one. I am working on really listening, when someone is talking to me. Listen with an empathetic ear. I am guilty of failing at this, as I am sure we all are from time to time. If you are like me, you need to learn to listen with your heart.

I know how hurtful it is to not be heard. I am not and will never be a speaker. I am a writer and I will admit, I am much better at writing than I will ever be at speaking. But, when you have something to say, you must feel others will listen to you or you will eventually stop talking. It is important and the polite thing for those around you to listen.

Listen with intent.

Intent to be quiet. Intent to sit there. Intent to pay attention. Listen with the intent to learn. You must listen with the intent to show the person speaking, you care enough to listen.

Really listen. Really listen with a listening ear. Not a commenting ear.

Where I fail, is I tend to want to ask questions. I want to know more about the story being told. When I am interested in what someone is saying, my brain is working, and I am churning all these questions in my brain, trying to get the entire, big picture. I want to see it in my brain. Paint the picture. So, I ask questions. But what happens? I am not listening to learn, I am listening to respond.

I know I shouldn’t do this. This is not how we listen with intent. It interrupts the one telling the story. It causes them to lose their train of thought.

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”

― Ernest Hemingway

Have you ever been telling a story, someone interrupts you, and then you are like, “what was I saying?” This is frustrating. It’s hurtful. It is hard to be unheard. You feel like you are not worthy.

I am working hard to stop doing this and to start listening with intent and silence. It is hard for me. I will admit. I am not writing this to preach, rather to teach. Myself.

I need to hear this as much as I need to write it.
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The second important aspect to listening with intent is to listen with no judgement. With no opinion. Use your ears, not your brain. Listen with your heart, not your judgement.

Listen with your heart.

Listening purely is a hard trait. It is a gift. And you should use it. We all should use this. We all should not only listen with our ears, but also with an understanding heart.

Think about listening as if you are in a classroom, or a workshop. You would never interrupt the speaker. That would be rude. So, why do we do we interrupt our friends? Why do we interrupt our loved ones?

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

― Leo F. Buscaglia

Listening to children is hard. They sometimes ramble or talk slowly. But, when we interrupt our children, we are teaching them they are not worthy. We teach as we do, when it comes to children. Another reason to have a listening ear, another reason to listen with your heart.

Sadly, I know I was guilty of this when my children were young. I didn’t always have enough patience, with three small children, especially towards the end of the day. (I need to apologize to them now.)

We should also listen to teenagers. They don’t always have a lot to say, so when they do speak, we should be ready to listen with intent. And again, no judgement. And again, listen with your heart.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I am guilty of this, myself.

I am also guilty of not phone down. Are you guilty of letting your phone be in the conversation, too? Let’s get better at that together.

We all should not only listen with our ears, but also with an understanding heart. #listenwithyourheart Click To Tweet

Listening is a form of caring. We need to show people love and respect when we sit with them. Listen with your heart.

I hope for you someone who listens to you with heart and intent.  And I hope you will intently start listening with your heart, if you don’t already.  Think of the conversations we could have.

love and blessings~dd

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