Body Image And Body-Doubt: Getting Beyond The Negative

I struggle, like many women, with negative body image and body-doubt. I want you and I to stop and start realizing we are more than how we look in our jeans.

Each time I post a picture of me it gets easier. Or does it? I push myself to participate, so I can push myself to stop the negativity towards how I look. My body image is body-doubt.

When I get dressed, who am I dressing for–me? Or, you?

Most women dress for other women, meaning their friends. You want your best friend to look at you and say, “Cute! Where did you get that?”

And when I say most women, I mean me. My friends and I have talked about this before. You up the game if you know your friends will see you, or if you are going somewhere and you need to impress someone. Or, if you and your husband, or significant other, are going out.

The point is we should all be dressing for ourselves, right?

Usually, I don’t, unless you are talking about Nike shorts and a t-shirt. Or in the winter, sweatpants or yoga pants, and that same t-shirt, with maybe a sweatshirt over it. That is my uniform, if you will. When I stay home all I day, I am really comfortable in my pajamas all day. Let’s get real.

I am perfectly fine this way, at home. I am fine this way out, too, while running errands.

I suppose I do dress for me when I head out to Target, the grocery store or other errands. I wear that uniform I spoke of above. Something comfortable, depending on the weather. While always showered, I wear minimal makeup and I don’t spend much time with my hair. I am happy leaving the house like this.

But I will be honest, if I catch a glimpse of this “me” in the mirror, I cringe. I think to myself, “Uh, why did I leave the house like this? And, “I hope I don’t see anyone I know.”

I also feel less-assured when I dress like this. It is the opposite of “feeling like a million bucks,” and I often wonder why I leave the house so comfortable.

Even when I “dress up” I am not dressed up. I call that “looking cute” and it means I have on jeans, or shorts, a t-shirt (a different t-shirt here!), and a kimono. Or a cute top, or a sweater.

But, comfort. Always comfort.

This uniform I wear now was never worn in public when I was younger. I always had makeup on, hair fixed and “dressed” when I left the house. And, this was when I had less confidence. That’s weird, huh?

Or, is it that I have more confidence and so I don’t care?

I have said before; I am not sure if it is because I am writing now, (and have more confidence)? Or, is it because I am older and I don’t care as much?

But, I do have more confidence and more of the I don’t care factor. (That’s the nice way to state it!) Not caring as much, or at least 100% of the time, makes me happy. I shouldn’t care what others think. Should I? I should dress for me. I shouldn’t care if someone looks at me and thinks, “Oh. Wow. I can’t believe she left the house like that!” Or should I?

It is not like I am in my housecoat and slippers! At least I still care a little.

But, I am still extremely critical of myself. Are you?

My selfie is not for you.

It’s rare I like a picture of me. Honestly, It’s my weight, my hair, my face—there is always something I am not happy about in a picture. And when I pose, it is a workout trying to suck in, not breathe, chin up, eyes open, smile, wait…suck in more, kick a leg out, and …cheeeese. Breathe!

Hiding from the camera is a sport for me, and I am pretty good at it. I am trying to be better, show my face, and be real. Real is in. And, I am real in real life, so why do I hide from cameras?

I feel so bothered by this, I have even written about this subject before on my blog. In this age of selfies and self-love, I have tried my best to get past it and post pictures of myself. Still, I haven’t gained much ground on the body image battleground.

To believe that you must hide all of the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room. -Marc Hack

I was challenged by a friend to post selfies of me for one week on Instagram. Kira gave prompts for the picture to post and prompts to stir emotions and fears, and hopefully to make us think and get rid of self-doubt. To get comfortable with who we are and to help with our own body image and body-doubt.

As much as I would rather not post pictures of myself, I am doing this for me. I am doing this for those women who also struggle with negative body image and body-doubt, like me.

Well, not only do I not like pictures of myself, I really dislike selfies.

The only time I want a selfie is when I am with my daughters (they are better at taking them than I am anyway) and we are trying to seize the moment, stop time, and remember what is behind us. For example, on vacation.

And somehow a groupie seems less vain than a selfie, right?

When the challenge started, I was in the middle of a trip celebrating my husband’s birthday. And, for me, that is bad timing for selfies, because vacations for me involve too much—too much of everything like food, drink and not enough self-care, (while in Vegas anyway).

Guilty feelings: It also increases the propensity to generic levitra sale rush through sexual encounters. The occurrence of generic viagra 100mg the impotence is being noted so widely that every 6 men out of 10 suffer with impotence. In just one viagra sale australia click your order will proceed under full protection. wholesale cialis This scenario, as I have described, happens to more domestic abuse couples in divorce court then not. But honestly, how you look isn’t near as important as who you’re with at the moment. That is the only thing that matters–who you are with when you are making memories. Not how you look in the photo. So, take the photos! Get in the photos. Get over your negative body image and body- doubt issues and get in the photo.

Plus, this year, celebrating Mark’s birthday is more important than ever. That is so much more important than how I look in a photo. Or in person. I will focus on that rather than a perfect picture. Making memories with the ones you love is more important than your negative body image. (Have I ever told you that I write what I need to hear?)

Challenges like this, from Kira, from Kira Rudjen help me, force me, to get over myself. Read more about her challenge here.

I know the people in my life, who love me, don’t care if I am size 2 or 12. They don’t care if my hair is flat or if my hair is showing off a bitch stripe (when my grey is showing!). They don’t care how I am dressed. I know this. And people, like you, who are reading my blog and taking in my words, don’t care either. Right?

See the inner beauty

Well, this is me, hiding from the camera again.

This is the day we moved to our new house. This was a happy day for me, last year. My daughter gave me this beautiful bouquet, and I couldn’t wait to take a picture with the flowers.

Of course, I was moving, in my comfy clothes, the uniform, and zero makeup on, hair in a ponytail. Yep, I was hiding.

This is my sunroom before I decorated it. Before it was dressed and had makeup on, if you will. Before the movers came and brought all our stuff. This is my sunroom, my happy place before it was pretty.

But you know what? I already loved it. I already thought it was beautiful. I already knew this was my favorite room in the new house. It didn’t need to be perfect for me to know I loved it.

It didn’t need stuff hanging on the wall. It didn’t need plants. And it didn’t need my old couch, with all my comfy, adorable pillows. (I need a new couch in there!)

Get where I am leading you? I already thought this room was gorgeous. Naturally pretty. Inside and out.

So, read your own words, Dedra!

 

We don’t grow in easy. We grow when our world is difficult and when we face those difficulties. -dedra davis

 

Challenges. Face difficulties.

This selfie challenge is a definite face challenge for me because selfies are just not for me. But, I accepted the challenge because self-love and loving myself—the way I am, is something I need to work on daily. Accepting myself, loving myself. Imperfections and all.

I need no more negative body image and self-doubt. And neither do you.

I love the inside of me, so I need to love and accept the outside of me, the shell, too. My body supports me, breaths for me, and carries me throughout my life. My body is the vessel in which I travel, and I need to love it, cherish it, admire it, and take care of it.

Coincidentally, I am participating in yet another challenge this week. The same, but different.

Ashton, from The Authentic Woman Blog has invited me to participate, along with over 200 other brave women, in a challenge to accept and realize one’s beauty. The way you are. Now.

Ashton writes, “It is time to ditch the lies and step into our truth. The truth that every single woman is worthy.”

She is asking the participants to gather online and show the world women are worthy as they are. The difference in this challenge and the first one I participated in is to replace selfies with full head-to-toe photos to reveal our full selves and spread the light of worthiness throughout. Will you join us?

Let go of the self-doubt and negativity.

So, I will step up to this next challenge and join the army of women teaching other women you are enough. You are enough today and every day. You are glorious. You are perfect just as you are.

I will show the scars, I will show all of me and while it will be uncomfortable, I will.

Each time it gets easier. And as much as I would rather not post pictures of myself, I am doing it for me. And I am doing it for those who also struggle with body image and body-doubt, like me.

Because if I can learn to let go of negative body image and body-doubt, so can you. If I can get over myself and show up for those who, like me, are not perfect, then you can, too.

I need no more negative body image and self-doubt. And neither do you.Click To Tweet

I hope for you strength and the ability to love yourself, the way you are now. I hope for you to let go of the self-doubt. Let go of all the negative body image trash talk you say to yourself when you look in the mirror. Let go of the body-doubt. I hope for you to step in front of the camera and get in the picture. Stop hiding and start loving yourself. Imperfections and all!

love and blessings~dd

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