Cultivating a garden is like cultivating a friendship-both are beneficial in so many ways. Cultivating friendships produces the fruit of a different kind, but is just as sweet.
Tending to your garden is so important to keep the growth healthy and the weeds out. Cultivating our friendships is equally important..
Keeping the weeds out of a garden takes time and effort and is time well-spent. The same holds true of a friendship. Friendships, like gardens, need planning, cultivating and tending to regularly or they will certainly die.
Plan your garden
Being a writer means there is a lot of alone time. To write, or create anything, there is a lot of time spent with yourself. A lot of conversations inside your mind with yourself searching for the right words and inspiration for more words.
I have had this battle-within since I started writing five years ago. I have become more of a recluse. Home is comfortable, I enjoy my home. And. I love being home. Writing is a passion and I enjoy days I spend with my words, (and right now, I am spending a lot of time researching and querying agents for my children’s books) and being home with my thoughts.
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
But, I love being out and about with friends and family making memories and having fun. Battle. Here lies the battle-within.
'Anytime you are invested in something you love; you must spend time planning, cultivating and tending to your investment. My investment is my writing. We must plan, cultivate, and tend to the gardens we love.' -dedra davisClick To TweetThere are other gardens in life we need to cultivate. I need to cultivate.
Cultivate the garden
To have a relationship, you must plan, cultivate, and tend to it. Relationships left untended eventually die. They end up full of weeds if you don’t add love and attention regularly.
If you don’t add water, sun, and loving attention to your relationships, they will wither, just like a garden.
Friendships must be mutually beneficial. Both should receive and give equally. If a friendship is one-sided, weeds will sprout.
“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Tend to the garden
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Don’t give your garden the opportunity to grow weeds. Weeds such as jealousy, blame, doubt, and hurt feelings can grow and thrive in an unattended garden.
“Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
One thing to remember in the garden of relationships—if one backs away from tending to the friendship, it could be them, not you. Sometimes relationships can disintegrate because one friend is having problems within. This is important to remember and investigate before you blame or give up the relationship entirely.
Perhaps that friend needs you to step up your gardening?
When we give thought and love to the planning, cultivating and tending of our friendships, we reap the benefits. We harvest love, kinship, and great memories. We are bountiful in love and understanding.
Friends are understanding, compassionate, supportive. A good friend is a good listener. Friendship is laughter, empathy, and tears — reliable, warm-hearted, and giving.
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” -Marcel Proust
I hope for you budding friendships, a bountiful garden of love and friendship. I hope for you a garden well tended.
love and blessings~dd
*I wrote this blog post after I attended the book launch for Joanna Gaines new children’s book We Are The Gardeners. I read the sweet book and later that evening read the quotes from Brené Brown I posted above. That got me thinking which led me to writing this blog post. Hope you enjoyed. Sign up for my newsleter below for more inspiration.
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